Sunday, July 9th, 2006
Under the warmth of a forgiving sun I re-read Rev. Bonnie Bernard's - Forgive Your Way
To Freedom. I remember meeting the lovely author, last year after she'd made a special trip up to B.C. to lead a sunday session at Vancouver's Centre For Spiritual Living. Sensational!
Within this no' fire and brimstone' new age spirituality based church, members of a conscious congregation sang with soul and listened with Highest Intentions set. Afterwards, I bought Blessed Bonnie's wee and wonderful book and accompanying cd. What joy to meet another soaring spirit who can now lift her wings because she's chosen to finally Let Go. My kind of kindred sis!
Of course at that torrid time; my beautiful eight year old little boy had already been unjustly apprehended by MCFD and my only real solace was to practice Radiant Forgiveness. Talk about Synergy ...
I had my precious wombmate returned almost one year ago - last July, after seven torturous months of uneccesary separation and the most undeniable pain and emotional hardship any Mother or Child should ever be forced to undergo. Slander. Gross and unproven allegation. Forgivenes? You bet'cha. The quickest way to Gratitude is the releasing of resentments and anger. Unless one wishes to be held back ... Not me. I needed to move forward ... toward my son and the bright light I already knew myself to be.
Forgiveness is almost a selfish act. If I hadn't released the anguish of my 1978 and 1979 rapes, mine would be the insane mind still imprisoned for life. Even after the malignant cervical cancer suffered at the tender age of twenty - two ; thanks to repression of my darkest emotions, I once again set myself Free. Instead of judging and condemning another who chose not to assume responsibility for actions taken in his life, I decided to Celebrate my own.
In 1983 I was a mere mixed up thirty - three years old when my dear 'distant Dad' died at sixty years young. I went on a full scale emotional rollercoaster ride and within one and a half months ( on my sister Carol's birthday - January 11th ) I became intensely involved with one more 'abuser'. I ignored every single warning sign ; from 'waking visions' to a near 'out of body experience '. Not owning my my own Power. Instead of forgiving my sad Dad for his distance and denial, I continued to hold back a torrent of tell - tale tears. Attracting a younger version ... of my forever imprisoned parent, I began to learn a painful lot about my own shadow side!
So many countless experiences incurred have caused me to be tested, and with flying rainbow colours, I have Faithfully passed every agonizingly painful lesson. Sometimes, taking a bit longer to go round one more 'learning curve' ... Yet, with Mindfulness and an absolute sense of Appreciation, allowing every Opportunity to blossom and build new Strength. Still continuing to Grow ... into Goddess - sent Glory!
P.S. "Tender Dreams cannot thrive in toxic soil" - Rev. Mary Morrisey, Building Your Field of
Note: Today's reflections come after this mornings all too recent nightmare of a 'real life' male whom owes me a paltry $500.00's . After continual abusive behaviour on his behalf, I actually dreamed he was coming to get me ... Fearlessly, I acted ... throwing a gallon jug of water into his grimacing face and firmly slamming shut my front door.
It only seems apropos that this past week I decided to wrap 'him' in white light, forgive him, and let him go ... No longer the victimized or the victim, I remain only the Victor!!!