Sunday, November 5th, 2006
Searching for Love Letters To My Son as he lay peacefully sleeping, I find unwept tears within pages that freshly pierce this still bleeding heart. Well loved journal from 2005 finding itself into my knowing hand. Eyes that have not slept for over twenty-four hours hungrily devour words that open wounds mortal man and time may never fully hazard to heal.
Without staggered sentences I remember the prison sentences methodically laid out to ruin a love that does forever fully sustain. Four to six hours a week in meager ministry supervised visits. A young eight year old child who can barely keep his gentle eyes from closing. Clearly to see his Mother's pain looking back at him. Forcibly restrained through methods of bureacracy, manipulation and libelous court enforced claims.
Love's greatest diservice is in the separation of of loving Mother from blessedly bonded Son. "...May no man set asunder... " the purest love of that beloved one. Raindrops flowing before silent thunder. Beauties gift upon unblemished face. Rooted in envy. Human's disgrace. Cold hearted blunder. Only to trace inwards to an innocent child's lost wonder.
So alone I once; misled, thought myself to be, until I fully grew to realize the deep knowing within wonderfully wounded me. Thus rooted, I chose to rise above the mud, dirt and grime to find myself all I'd been searching for before time. Going inside to empty garbage that smelled of death, I pulled out the poison of others and took my my first breath ...
Seven mournful months of sorrow and psychically inflictied torture bury themselves well. The newfound strength of a heroic pairing does surely tell. No earthbound being shall again have privelege to take my child into their own soul's burning hell. For but the lingering acrid smell of once deadly arrows sent our love-spent way. My mighty hand posed in written prayer does betell what spoken word no longer has to say.
Now, beautiful children, you may come out from holding to dance and gleefuly play. Dropping idle fears of those around like stagnant pools that choke and drown. Continue to dance atop the magic of sunshine's mirror as clearest conscience sails on waters smooth and calm. Touched by Joy's healing kiss. Vital balm directly leading to Truth's eternal bliss.
We actually lay together upon the bed. For eight month a government sanctioned supervision order lived in our head. Wrongfully imposed, a dirtiest dozen guilt laden guidelines written in the artless name of sister shame and brother blame. An unacountable many would gladly die to see us fall from Grace. Countless papers burned to see the heart's imortal and purest Love artfully written upon one more young wiseman's perfect and precious face. Both to sincerely smile into ever trusting lens of Love. Making our own rightful choice as Magical Mother and Shining Son to finally fearlessly embrace ...
Katherine A. Marion