Super Natural Woman

Supernatural You!

Home : Supernatural You : Advice : Letter 5

Previous | Next

Life Enhancing Advice From Supernatural Woman "Do'n It - Like She Tells It!"


From: E. McIntosh
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2003 10:59 AM
Subject: Just wondering about your poem Daddy, Why Don't You?

I have gone onto your site a few times over the last year and been inspired by your diary entries and philosophy about life.
 
Today I read the above poem, and it struck me to the core.  I have an 8-year old daughter, and her father is a person that has avoided responsibility all his life, and he is avoiding his parental responsibilities too, and I wondered if you had any insights on this for me.  I cannot get through to this man, no matter what angle I take, and neither can his family, whom I am still very close to despite our divorce.
 
I would like to "fix" this broken relationship for my daughter, but I know that no matter what I do, it won't change her father, and he has to figure out how to be a good Dad on his own, or not at all.
 
Any thoughts?
 
Looking forward to any words you can spare, whenever you have a minute.
 
Erin


July 28, 2003

Dear Erin,

Thank you for your recent e-mail and your refreshing honesty. I am so pleased that I have inspired you and thus, hopefully, made a positive difference in one more life.

How did you discover my site? Please feel free (some of us still are...) to spread news of the loving messages and wisdom I have to impart. If you are interested in my newsletter, please inform me.

Everyone has priorities in this life. Unfortunately, most people are not attending to their higher selves. The father of your lovely daughter and my son's dad are both men who still somehow manage (although barely ) to survive in this world, in spite of their obvious unconsciousness. When we Love ourselves we can only give others the same just and fair treatment. For two men whom we once felt we knew so well, this is not the case...

There are only two places that we come from in this life - Love or Fear. We were all born so utterly pure and perfect. And then something happens...to far too many sad and often neglected souls. As you are already well aware we can't force 'them' to finally or ever deal with and come to terms with their buried childhood issues. What we can and must do is be honest with our children and have Compassion for the 'men' that pretend to be their Fathers.

What you can do is continue to be the best role model for your beautiful little girl. She will model the qualities that she sees mirrored in you. Allow her to know that her Dad loves her to the utmost of his limited ability. Teach her to accept only the best and never settle for less. Show her all the beauty she has within herself and that no one (misplaced Daddy included) can ever validate or give her the Love she must give to her Precious Self.

I still remember a male friend of mine telling me years ago, "No Father is better than a Father that isn't ...". He is a single Dad raising a 16 year old daughter! It is so true. It's not worth trying to sell our children on the so called finer aspects of their delinquent Daddies. Why even attempt to do the work of the parent that often doesn't even care enough to even listen to the message. After, if his child is a man's major concern, wouldn't his behaviour exemplify his ideals, rather than his sad and dangerous beliefs?

I allow my son to write stories and draw pictures  to deal with any difficult emotions that may arise. At the same time I inspire him to visualize what he would like to see in his love filled life. Any happy memories, I suggest he pinpoint and illuminate, through art and similar forms of creative expression. This offers a healthy way in which we can all Heal.

Remember, it is 'he' that is truly suffering. The ultimate victim is always the abuser. The one that is often abused too often times becomes the abuser. Don't let your daughter learn the hard way. Both you and were taught some difficult and life altering lessons by two different ( yet the same...)'teachers'. This does not have to be the same legacy we leave for our Beloved Children.

With Everlasting Hope and Happiness,

Love Katherine
xoxo

P.S. This by no means that you should accept any unacceptable behaviour inadvertently set forth by Dear Dad that you do not deem suitable and appropriate. Even if a 'court order' so specifies. You be the Judge. My personal credo which I have shared with my son is : "If it feels wrong, I 'm Right!".
All the answers lay deep within...Go for it, Super Natural Momma!

Please send $20 contribution to Katherine for a personalized response. Replete with pics of SNW do'n it - like she tells it!


Or send $20 to:
Katherine A. Marion
401 1106 Pacific Street.,
Vancouver,
V6E 1T4
check or $ all payable to Katherine A. Marion

  Copyright 2003 by SuperNaturalWoman.com http://www.SuperNaturalWoman.com/suletters5.htm